I have been thinking about this for a VERY long time. Which means…since the beginning of this year. I have been thinking about it and when the podcast (The Trailhead) became too unwieldy to keep going, I began to think even harder. Then, as my posts became fewer, and I started looking at quitting smoking, training harder for next year and heading toward 50 agressively, without pause or reservation, I knew it was time to hang up the web site and probably the domain.

Time is important, what I do WITH that time EVEN MORE. After my second granddaughter was born I decided that I would live to see all of my little ones graduate, get settled into life and maybe be there for some weddings. Who knows? It could happen.

So, in this last post on my personal page (because the last update to the main site lost the dashboard, another reason I decided to stop.) I want to thank you all in the OI community and my Burgh community for your support and care. I think the world of you all. You’re great people and I enjoyed every blog post, tweet and Facebook post.

It looks like it’s time to head on down the trail and I do so a bit choked up and my eyes glazing over…Adios, Vaya Con Dios mis amigos.

It’s been an interesting couple of months. I feel like I’ve been on the world’s fastest roller-coaster and the ride has just started. I had this planned for about a year and finally got things together and have two shows under my belt. I decided on a bi-weekly show in order to give me time…time to plan each show and time to enjoy the outdoors. I now know that the choice looks like the right one. I have to organize things better, I have to be an administrator and most importantly I have to focus. Not one of my strongest abilities as I have gotten older. I realized that my life is not as chaotic as I once thought. It’s what’s in my head that can get chaotic at times, therein lies the “grand illusion”.

At most, I may have 5 thoughts in my head…not much room for much more than that. Each of those thoughts are fighting to be the priority. That’s when the focus drops. That’s what I have to work on. It’s been the cause for a lot of “dead air” on the podcast that I spend hours editing out. It also causes me to forget, like having the questions in front of me and instantly losing my place…or losing the show notes and not knowing where I put them.  But I fight through it and so far the results have been worth the double work that I do.

The reason I go through all of this…many things. I love the outdoors, I love Pittsburgh and I love Pennsylvania. I can’t get out as much as I would like so each “adventure” that I go on is a moment that I savor. I don’t want the moment to end,  even though I know it will and so I try to absorb everything around me. Can you imagine standing within 30 feet of a whitetail deer, shooting video and taking stills all the while it just stands there, feeding, it knows you’re there and it doesn’t move? How about feeling so very small within a canopy of towering ancient trees that were around since before English settlers landed on this continent and created the Jamestown settlement? I’ve been there and done that. It’s a feeling that there are no words are for.

Another thing…I used to teach. I enjoy passing on things that I have learned through experience as well as the information I’ve gotten from others. Struggling with anything can kill an experience, to the point of not going back to try it again. I’ve struggled but I just keep doing it till I get it right even if I back off from it for a little while so I can look at it from a different angle. For example, I spent a weekend camping where a thunderstorm, a pretty nasty one, would roll in at night and thrash my camp. The floor of my tent got soaked and in the morning I wiped it up, dried out my gear and did it all over a gain. I didn’t scrap camping…I got a new tent. (BIG WAIVE to Billie and Tom)

All of these things put together is why I do the podcast, no matter how much work I have to do or what I have to overcome to do it. Besides, I’ve met some great people and I hope to meet many more.

I started 2011 with goals, not resolutions. From previous experience I know that saying you’ve made New Years Resolutions is the same thing as saying “I plan on failing”…or just say FAIL. It has fewer syllables and you can be considered a psychic because you’ve just predicted the future. Semantics? Probably, but I do know that its the truth, at least in my case. So, I set goals.

So, my goals, have been getting knocked out one by one. Going to my granddaughter’s first birthday…done! Not much of a goal you may think. If you know my work schedule then you know this is a legitimate goal. I have to plan a couple of weeks in advance as well as text my daughter-in-law to see what their schedule is like. They’re busy, I’m busy, that’s the way it is.

My first winter hike…done! Not my first winter hike of 2011, my first winter hike EVER! Up until a couple of years ago I hated the cold. I would only go where I had to and then come right home. The less time I spent in the mess the better off I was. When I started hiking that is when my feelings about winter changed. “Cabin Fever” started increasing in intensity with each passing year until I HAD to get out and hike before my head blew off of my shoulders. The hike went off without a hitch and I will be doing more as the free time comes a long.

My second video in the “Follow Me” series is done. But not without some tense moments. I’m very picky about what I say in the videos. EVERY word had to be perfect. After about 20+ edits to the voice-over script and much agonizing the video is finally finished. As for the next video, well, I’m working on some ideas.

Speaking of the second video, I decided to take a fairly large break when I was done with it. I was drained mentally and needed to clear my head, as well as needing a “change of scenery”. I decided to catch up on my backlog of video games. Again, for those who know me this comes as no surprise. Yes, I am a gamer, since before the Nintendo Entertainment System. I am a geek at heart and that’s just something I don’t think will go away. I think I’m pretty well caught up and now I can go back to working on projects. If you’re curious as to what I played (using PS3):

• Call of Duty Classic
• Call of Duty4: Modern Warfare
• Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
• Call of Duty: Black Ops
• Gran Tourismo 5
• Vanquished

Yep, there is a bit of a pattern there.

The hardest of the goals, but not the last of them, is trying to regulate my sleep. It’s like a pendulum, I’m either going through insomnia or too much sleep (there is such a thing as “too much sleep”). The thing that rules my life, including my sleep, hiking and camping, is my job. I work shifts, that rotate on a weekly basis. I get days off like Tuesday/Wednesday, Wednesday/Thursday or a 5 day weekend, but, that’s once a month. I end up using most of these days off fighting to get my sleep back to “normal” and with little to no success. Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.

This is only a small part of the list of the things I have planned for this year. If I get them all done GREAT! If not…then there’s always next year. Who knows, I my have my sleep back in order by then…yah, wishful thinking.

I got this “great idea” earlier this year: “Wouldn’t it be great if I could show people what’s it like to get out, walk through the outdoors, see the sights, hear the sounds and just enjoy the overall experience?” Yep, a pretty good idea, considering I have no real experience with video, I’m an amateur photographer and I don’t like being in front of any kind of camera. This should work out great.

But, being the “adventurous soul” that I am, I figured that I would try my best. I bought my Nikon D5000 in a package with two lenses, a camera bag, bought an external flash, picked up a Sony digital video camera and away I went. I love to “create”, whether it’s drawing, doing graphics on the pc, photography, or just doodling on a piece of paper. As I have said to myself on any new venture, “Little did I know…”.

I soon found out that the Sony Handicam’s “image stabilization” wasn’t so stable. When I tried to walk with the camera it looked like someone walking with a camera that had two bricks tied to their feet. Hmm, not the effect I was looking for. I checked to see if the image stabilization was on…yes it was…freaking great. I did find that when I put the Handicam on a tripod the picture was great. Fantastic, now what do I do? I could use a “flexpod” (small tripod that wrapped around tree limbs, and the like, to stabilize the Handicam) and walk through the shot, but, like I’ve said, I don’t like being in front of the camera…I have a face for radio. Ok, now what do I do? I knew my Sony H7 (Hybrid point and shoot, full Auto/Manual set-up) and Olympus 6000 (Weatherproof point and shoot) had video capabilities. I tried the Olympus. Excellent video! Well, almost. It seems that the Olympus, with it’s great resolution and image stabilization, does a 4:3 picture (standard definition television). I’ve been using the 16:9 resolution on the Handicam…continuity suffers a little bit, the black bars on either side of the Olympus video are a dead giveaway. I checked the Sony H7 and found it it does 1080i HD video. I’m wondering how that will “mesh” with the Handicam footage?

Oh, and then there’s the voice over script. I was once asked if I was “vaccinated with a phonograph needle” (old timey for: You talk a lot). When it came to write up the script for the voice over…I was lost. It was like I had lost ALL knowledge of the English language. I edited the script about 7 or so times. I had mentioned earlier about my “frustrating episode” at Raccoon Creek State Park, where I had the script IN HAND and even after 6 attempts I couldn’t get it straight…then came the “melodious echoes” of a chainsaw across the creek from me and I decided to pack it in and go home.

The next video should go a little bit better…I hope. With all of the frustration I went through, the missed shots, the constant editing of the script and the final outcome I look back and smile. In the end it’s all about the “creating” and that I did it.

Besides work…all over the place. I came off of vacation, previewed all of the pictures/video I shot, caught up on birthdays (well most of them), worked the 7a-3p shift (which beat me up pretty good but I got through it), caught up on my online “gaming habit” and got to enjoy Halloween with Payton, her FIRST Halloween.

Vacation was my slowdown period. Besides aching feet my brain hurt. No, I didn’t have a headache, MY BRAIN HURT! My job has some brainwork involved, whether it’s trying to figure out a problem with a piece of gear, trying to properly install something, doing maintenance on the gear or just keeping safe. It gets to the point where I don’t want to think anymore. So, on vacation I stopped thinking. I didn’t make one decision and I was happy with that. If I said I was thinking about something I WAS LYING. I came off of vacation and felt better than I had felt in months. Not thinking is a good thing…I think.

I did so much “no thinking” that I had to remember what I had forgotten to do after vacation. That was the birthdays I missed. My father, Russ (one of my best friends), my brother and my niece Allie. I’m 2 for 4 on this one. My father and Russ are caught up. As for Allie, my ex said she would take over while I was gone but I still don’t feel right about it…I’m still going to get her something…just need to think. Again with the thinking(can’t escape it). My brother on the other hand likes pretty much everything so I’ll grab something for him.

Work, well, work is work, but my “online gaming habit” is one of the ways I get my “geek on”. I may get 2-3 hours play time per week, if I’m lucky. What online games do I play? Wizard 101, Final Fantasy XI (rarely these days) and Final Fantasy XIV (just came out for PC, graphics intense and I can’t wait for the PS3 version). It’s a quick stress reliever and, in the case of Wizard 101, I get to play with 3 of my nieces on occasion. Wizard 101 is a great family game and one I have no problem with where it concerns my nieces. Ok, you now know I’m a geek, that is, if you didn’t know that before. Well, gaming geek, pretty much everyone knows I’m a tech geek. My place looks like an IT threw up in it. True Story. (pghrugbyangel quote)

The BIG EVENT was my granddaughter’s first Halloween. As with everything, time was a factor, and I could only spend a couple of hours with her before I had to honor other commitments. I was amazed at how much she had grown as well as showing off a personality totally her own. She’s feisty to say the least. head strong, strong willed and pretty independent for 10 months old. I got a chance to play with her and see her exploring the toys that I had brought her. When it came to getting her costume on her she went ballistic. “Muh Muh Muh” she cried out, her mom responded “I’m right here silly” she looked briefly at her mom then, “Duh Duh Duh”. Dad wasn’t falling for it, he just smiled. The costume was finally on, the tears stopped and the little “Kitty Cat” was crawling around the room looking for some mischief to get into. I had a blast.

Well, the work grind has resumed. Catching up on things during my days off has resumed. So, its business as usual. Well, pretty much…just more catching up.

I leave tomorrow. I can feel everything coming back that I sought to escape when I left for vacation. It’s not as intense, but its still there. Indiana, with it’s open skies, the farms, and the slower pace (not forgetting the hiking in the state parks) is addicting. Its like a piece of me returns when I come here. A two week vacation never seems like enough, but it has to be…reality stinks but at least it’s truthful.

The hike in Shades State Park was the perfect end to a great week. Considering the colder days, a little rain now and again, and the high winds. It was still great. Then add the trip to Michigan and I really can’t complain. Its the leaving that’s tough. But I will be well rested, relaxed and capable of finishing out the year without a nervous breakdown…a plus. I also keep in the back of my mind that I will be back in the Spring so there is that to look forward to.

As for the high school football…I will miss watching my cousin play. This is his senior year. Seeing him out on the field, with his team, busting their tails for a game they love is something to watch. I think its better than pro football. They don’t get paid and still they put everything into the game. Some may dream about going pro but at that moment, on the the road to the state finals they come as close as they are ever going to get. Some may get a free ride to college, via football, and may even make it to professional football…a slim and none proposition.

The memories have been made, as they usually are, and will last me for a long time. I will miss Indiana. But I will return, for two weeks, to pick up where I left off. I will spend time with my Aunt and Uncle, catch up with what the family has been doing, enjoy the open skies, farms, hikes and the slow pace.

Thanks Aunt Judy and Uncle Jack for a great vacation.

I had last visited Michigan about two years ago. I have friends that live here, decided enough time had passed and decided to devote a weekend of my vacation to the trip.

The beginning of the trip was great. My friend Brooke road shotgun and we talked about anything and everything pretty  much the whole way. Since we left from Greensburg, her home area, I mentioned that once we hit the PA. Turnpike I had the navigation taken care of…well, my GPS had the navigation taken care of. This will come into play later.

Ohio was, as it always is,boring. The traffic wasn’t bad and our conversations were a “time warp” through the monotony to the point of coming up to our exit point more quickly than I had expected. Remember the “I had the navigation taken care of” thing? Brooke wanted me to pass interstate 75, go 6 more miles and get off at route 23, noting possible traffic. The traffic hadn’t been that bad (traffic doesn’t bother me to be honest) and 75 lead into 23. I am the type of person that likes to “flow with the GPS”. I know it won’t put me into a wall or off of a bridge so its all good. The conversation was about a minute too long and I headed to route 23. There was a great disturbance in the force. But I rolled with it.

Once across the border, from Ohio to Michigan, you immediately notice that you have entered the world of “Mad Max”. I’m not talking the appearance of the post apocalyptic world, I’m talking about the driving. There are no “right and left” lanes there are two lanes…fast and faster. The speed limit in the state, for the most part, is 70. That would be the right lane. The left lane is “how fast will this thing go?” I stayed in the right lane for most of the trip unless I came across the rare individual doing 60-65. If you’re in the left lane you had better get moving or you’ll have someone on your bumper trying to “push” you to either speed up or get the hell out of the way. I saw a few “near hits” in the left lane so when I decided to pass I kept my eyes glued to the rear view mirrors to make sure I had plenty of space so as not to get “bumped” or “rubbed” (NASCAR speak)

I made it to the hotel with my hair a little grayer and a bit drained from the highway experience but still alive and my car intact. Once I was checked in and unloaded I we went to Brooke’s sister’s house. Brooke’s sister, Jen, is also a long-time friend and a gathering of friends ensued. The weekend was filled with visits, shopping and culminated in a mass gathering at Cracker Barrel for brunch on Sunday. There were nine of us eating, conversing and letting the memories fly about the table for a couple of hours. Once the gathering was over I made a few more visits, dropped Brooke off to see another friend and then headed back to the hotel to pack and get ready for the next leg of the trip…Indiana. For those from the Burgh, that would be the state of Indiana.

I will spend about a week in Indiana, with family, then back to my beloved Burgh. I will do a little planning for the week but not much. I like to see what may come as the week progresses. But one plan I do have is to see my cousin Trent play high school football. The young man is a beast on the field and I enjoy watching him play. As for anything else…I will just roll with it.

The 12 hour days are gone…all 12 are finished. I didn’t think they would ever end. The chaos, the “hurry up and wait”, the schedule conflicts, the “I need this”, its all done. The only thing left from all of this is the “testing day”, in order to see if the line runs, but that’s it for this year.

My job during the outages is electrical lockout and safety. I kill the power to the equipment , put a specially designated lock on it, document it, put the key to that lock in a box then lock the box and put that key in another box and lock it. After all of that, people that will be work in that area get to put their locks on the first box. Confused yet? I want to give a special thanks to my lockout partner, Patty (great mechanical tech), who took care of all the major administration, safety coordination, the mechanical lockouts as well as putting up with me.

Here are some outage “tidbits” :

The first two days…are chaos. The first day was locking out equipment, documenting it, changing some lockouts, updating the documentation, organizing the lockout area and letting people know when its ok to do what they need to. The second day is organizing the shops (plant services like machinists, millwrights, pipe fitters, structural and more). The days after this calm down somewhat…somewhat.

The “Food Calendar”…goes up on the board and everyone picks a day and what culinary treat they will bring in. It starts out with donuts, bagels, donuts, cakes, donuts, pies and through the week pizza, hoagies, chicken, soups, pies, cakes and oh yah, donuts.  There are always sweets of some sort, besides donuts, and on most every outage I gain about 10 lbs…this year I lost 10 lbs. We share most things with the mechanical team and save stuff for the night crew as well.

Coffee…is the main staple of my job, and my existence. It’s the “Nectar of Life”, the “Go Go Juice”, the stuff that keeps me awake and a performance enhancer, or so I have myself believing. I’ll go through 3-4 pots in a shift. When I get home I have no problem sleeping…true story.

Expletives happen…in any given day. But there were probably more “F-Bombs” dropped during an outage week than all of the ordinance expended between WWII to the present. The derivatives of this particular expletive were in abundance. Great for venting one’s frustration with a job and disbelief in stupidity.

Bosses change their minds…frequently. I understand that priorities change with what job falls behind, what can and cannot be done, the normal stuff. But, on multiple occasions, I’d unlock gear to get it moved to a certain position, then, lock it back out. Then it was determined that it would interfere with another job when it was in that position. I had to move it back. After about two, or three, more times it was where it had to be. It reminded me of moving furniture for my mother, but with her it took less time and effort.

The last 2 days…aren’t like the first two days. Its more confusion than chaos. Our maintenance bosses are looking for anything and everything that they can unlock, get tested and get put into service before the line is supposed to run. On the last full 12 hour day, almost ready to close out the shift,  we only had a few lockouts left when a production boss visits us…”I need 10 things locked out”. Its usually the things we have just unlocked. My partner and I locked out the specified gear, gets out the documentation and asks what the job is going to be, “I need to paint the gear”. You know the Tom and Jerry Cartoon where Tom eats something really hot then steam shoots out of his ears and it sounds like a train whistle? That was my partner. True story.

That’s just a small summary of what has happened in the past 12 days. I could probably write a book. I won’t. Once everything is tested and the line gets rolling it will be back to the normal, everyday routine and I’m glad its over…well, for this year.

Over the past week my work schedule picked up. I like my job. I like that I have a job so let’s not get into the whole “Well, at least you have a job” thing. I have opinions, very “opinionated” opinions, not everyone likes, when it comes to being unemployed. I was unemployed for a year and now I’m employed…but that can change. I know this.

Back on track. This is outage season (when we do equipment upgrades and maintenance)  where work days go from 8 hours to 12 hours over, at least, a week. I did 6 of those 12 hour days between last week and this week. I have 11 more to go. I like 40 hours a week. I get to enjoy life, everything that comes with it and it keeps me sane. Well, sane is a relative word. In any case, 12 hour days can make me cranky…very cranky.

Add to this my addiction to information: Facebook, Twitter, tech blogs, Burgh blogs, texting, instant messages and the constant infusion of emails. It was great, in the beginning, my cell phone was constantly making noise and, like Pavlov’s Dog, I would pull the phone out without a second thought. It got to the point that when the phone went off I was looking at it. Anywhere. Well, I did have enough presence of mind to put the phone on vibrate when I was in stores, restaurants and didn’t check it or answer any calls while in the check out line. I am SUCH a considerate person.

So we have the “12 hour days” combined with the “Information Addiction” and you have the recipe for a melt down. Oh and let’s not forget to add in email spam to the tune of every 5 minutes…true story. This concoction was enough for me to turn everything off, filter my email in every possible way, sit quietly, with the television off and let my brain rest. Once the dust had cleared I poured myself a shot of crown, sat some more and SLOWLY enjoyed it. I had a thought, “Something had to give”. Work outages are forever. I can’t escape that, it’s part of the job. On the other side, I have met some incredible people in Burgh Social Media, I enjoy keeping in touch with out of state friends, my friends from the old neighborhood, my gaming friends…you get my point. Something HAD to give.

Something did give. Work is a constant, feeds my bank account, gives me the ability to spoil my granddaughter, nieces and nephews as well as fueling my hiking and photography equipment needs. Work outages aren’t forever even when they seem to and in my line of work I CANNOT afford to be distracted. I’m sure all of friends will understand, at least I hope they understand. The constant flow of information has to stop, at least for now. I don’t know how long it will last, maybe past the outage or just until vacation. It’s all “wait and see” for now.

The trip to Virginia was one that I hadn’t taken in about 15 years. Life had passed quickly with things I had to take care of, things popping up all over the place, a job…you know, life. But a day hadn’t gone by without me thinking of the people I was going to revisit, and my life as it was back then, in the Norfolk/Virginia Beach area. The “people” are a family that were as much a family to me without actually being my family.

I was stationed at Damn Neck Naval Training Center in Virginia Beach for Missile School when I met my “adopted sister”, Teresa. She was part of the housekeeping staff at the enlisted quarters I was staying at on the base and we became great friends. She invited me over to her family’s home, in Va. Beach, for dinner when I couldn’t go home on one of my duty weekends. We hit it off from the start and shortly thereafter I had another family. I had not only gained a mother and father (Peggy and Jerry) but 3 younger siblings: Tina, Teresa and Christopher.

Time passed, I got out of the navy and went back to the Burgh. I visited when I had the chance (and a properly working vehicle) but the visits tapered off, life went into a spin and here I am now…15 years later. I look back and know where the time went, why things happened like they did and realize that I could, but couldn’t, control the events that transpired. Sound cryptic? It’s not. I could have handled things differently in my life…but at the time I didn’t see it…hindsight is 20/20.

The trip to Virginia was one memory after another and as I got closer to my destination the memories were like walking through an uncut trail, getting smacked in the face with every foot I traveled. When I arrived the welcome heart warming and sometimes a little emotional. They asked me why I was surprised. With what I had been through in the past 15 years, which would take more words than I have time for, I had felt like I had left them behind even though a day didn’t pass without me thinking of them. Yes, it had been a rough 15 years.

I did get some time to go hike and check out Williamsburg but most of the time was spent catching up with what everyone had done, accomplished and been through. The “small ones” had grown into adults, there had been a few new additions since I had been there and we’re still catching up. We’ve talked about more trips in the future and have one scheduled tentatively in the Spring of next year.

It took so long to get back to “where I was” that I can’t let this happen again. I’m very lucky to have two families that love me. How many people can say this? I will be looking forward to the Spring of 2011 when I go back down to visit and catch up some more.